Being a Woman Today: The Hidden Cost to Our Mental Health

Mental health is a deeply personal journey, one that every individual walks differently. But when you're a woman, the path often comes with unique twists, invisible weights, and unspoken expectations that shape your mental and emotional wellbeing in profound ways. From hormonal shifts and societal pressures to workplace inequality and caregiving roles, being a woman in today's world affects not just how we live, but how we feel.

So, let’s talk about it. Really talk about it. What does it mean to be a woman navigating mental health in the UK today? And how can we start showing up for ourselves with the same care we give to others?

The Weight We Carry: A Look at the Stats

Let’s begin with some sobering truth: women in the UK are twice as likely to experience anxiety disorders compared to men. According to the Mental Health Foundation, women aged 16 to 24 are also three times more likely to experience common mental health issues than their male counterparts.

Some key figures:

• 26% of young women report symptoms of anxiety, depression, or stress (NHS Digital, 2022).

• Self-harm rates for women have more than doubled in the last two decades.

• Women are more likely to be prescribed antidepressants, yet less likely to receive therapy or specialised mental health support.

  
  

Why? Because we’re often taught to cope rather than heal. To be “strong,” “resilient,” and above all; silent.

Hormones, Cycles, and Emotional Rollercoasters

Let’s get real, our biology plays a huge part in our mental wellbeing.

• Puberty introduces not only physical changes but emotional turbulence that many girls navigate alone.

• Menstrual cycles can deeply impact mood through premenstrual syndrome (PMS) and the more severe PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder).

• Pregnancy, childbirth, and miscarriage bring a whirlwind of hormonal and psychological shifts, often accompanied by loneliness and guilt.

• Menopause can usher in depression, anxiety, brain fog, and a crisis of identity.

And yet, so much of this is under-discussed, even stigmatised. We often chalk it up to “just hormones,” minimising the very real emotional toll.

The Mental Load: Work, Home, and Everything In Between

Being a woman often means juggling multiple roles: professional, caregiver, partner, daughter, friend. And society quietly expects us to do it all flawlessly.

• The “mental load” that invisible checklist we carry around, leaves women disproportionately exhausted.

• Women are more likely to be unpaid carers, especially for elderly relatives or disabled children.

• At work, we face the gender pay gap, microaggressions, and a lack of representation in leadership.

  
  

The constant balancing act leads to burnout, chronic stress, and feelings of inadequacy. We internalise failure when we can’t “do it all,” even though the system is designed against us.

Culture, Race, and Intersectionality

Mental health doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Being a woman of colour, LGBTQ+, disabled, or neurodivergent adds layers of complexity.

• Black British women are less likely to receive mental health support and more likely to be misdiagnosed.

• South Asian women often face cultural stigma around mental illness, leading to under reporting and silent suffering.

• Trans women face alarmingly high rates of mental illness due to discrimination and violence.

Intersectionality reminds us that mental health cannot be addressed with a one-size-fits-all approach. Our experiences are diverse and require tailored support.

The Ripple Effect on Our Relationships

When women struggle with mental health, it doesn’t just affect us; it touches everyone around us.

• We may become distant partners or overwhelmed mothers.

• Friendships can suffer as we withdraw out of shame or fatigue.

• At work, we might underperform or overwork ourselves to mask the pain.

Unacknowledged mental health issues can lead to cycles of misunderstanding, guilt, and isolation. But when we open up, we make space for others to do the same. Vulnerability becomes a bridge, not a barrier.

Self-Help That Actually Helps

So what can we do to nurture our mental health in a world that doesn’t always nurture us back? Here are some powerful tools and techniques:

1. Cycle Awareness

Track your menstrual cycle and notice patterns in your mood. Apps like Clue or Flo can help. Once you understand the emotional rhythm, you can better anticipate low points and plan self-care around them.

2. Boundary Setting

Start small. Say “no” without over-explaining. Turn off work notifications after hours. Your peace is not negotiable.

3. Therapy & Talking Therapies

4. Journalling & Creative Outlets

Writing, painting, dancing; whatever allows you to express yourself without judgement. Creative expression is a powerful way to process emotions.

5. Peer Support & Women’s Circles

Find or create safe spaces to talk. Whether it’s a WhatsApp group, book club, or a virtual community, connection heals.

6. Mindfulness & Grounding

Practice daily mindfulness, even for five minutes. Apps like Headspace or Calm offer guided meditations tailored for stress, anxiety, and overwhelm.

7. Move Your Body

Not to punish it, but to support it. Walking, yoga, dancing in your living room. Whatever makes you feel alive and connected.

Final Thoughts: It’s Okay to Not Be Okay

Being a woman is beautiful, complex, and often exhausting. Our mental health is not a weakness—it’s a compass pointing to what needs care and change.

Let’s stop apologising for our needs. Let’s honour our emotions. Let’s seek help without shame. And let’s create a world where being a woman doesn’t come at the cost of our wellbeing.

Because when women heal, communities heal. Families heal. Generations heal.

And we deserve that—you deserve that.

Where to Get Support (UK)

• Mind: 0300 123 3393 | mind.org.uk

• Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7) | samaritans.org

• NHS Talking Therapies: Self-refer at nhs.uk

• Refuge (Domestic Abuse): 0808 2000 247 | refuge.org.uk